Desperation
by daydream57
Summary: A girl, a stalker, a masked man… The first is afraid, the second is controlling, and the third is more powerful than either of them. Fear, mystery, and desperation ensue… E/C
1. Chapter 1

**This story is different from anything I've done before. It involves Christine, a stalker, and a masked man. In other stories, Erik would usually be the stalker, wouldn't he? Well, as I said, this is different. Please review with your thoughts :) **

**Entry 1**

I'm Christine. I'm a normal girl. I'm twenty years old. I'm a college student. I'm perfectly in place.

NOT!

Not in a million years. Sure, I'm twenty. And sure, I'm a college student. But, here's my situation… I'm a twenty-year-old college student who has transferred to a 25,000 student university after having spent two years at a 1,700 student private college. I've switched majors from music education to psychology, so I've basically started over.

Yeah, so maybe I'm not so normal.. Who is? Let me tell you, I was more 'normal' a month ago than I am now. But, we'll get to that soon enough.

Well, so, the college thing. I got sick of music while attending the 1,700 student private college I was referring to earlier. There was way too much pressure and I wasn't practicing like I should, so who wouldn't want to get away from it? Anyone would do what I did. I transferred to a bigger college.

I have to admit that I still miss music, but I don't think I was ever good enough. Psychology is pretty cool, I guess. The only un-cool thing is that I'm starting over with college when I'm really supposed to be a junior.

Anyway, to sum it up, it's been a rough couple of years. And, it just keeps getting rougher.

So, being that I transferred to this new university that's about 20 minutes away from home, I have been commuting for the past semester. And, I've enjoyed it... up until a few weeks ago. Hold on, though. We're getting to that.

Well, being that I've lived at home, I've been able to keep my job that would normally have only been kept during the summer.

I quit about a week ago, but some pretty weird things happened when I was an employee. I didn't realize how weird things were up until yesterday. Yeah, there's a connection between the life I'm now leading and the job I had.

First, let's start by explaining the job. I worked at a video rental store. I was really good at my job, too. My boss loved me. But, as it turns out, my working there was the reason why all of this crap has taken place.

Anyway, I worked a lot over the summer and got to know quite a few of the 'regular' customers. There were people who rented _every day_. Well, so, there was this one guy.. He was really nice, and that fact now has a tendency to piss me off. But, he was. He was a very nice man who, I'd say, was in his late 30's or early 40's.

I can't remember his name, but I can remember what he looked like. His face was pretty memorable, and not because he was cute or anything. God, no. It was the way he looked at me. It always made me feel uncomfortable. He had the most intense stare! He never talked too much, but he would ask questions that made me talk. And, he would stare. I remember telling my mom about it a while back, but we both shrugged it off.

Now, though… I should have taken it more seriously. The guy has turned out to be a psychotic manipulative stalker. Funny the way life works, huh? No, but none of this is funny. In fact, I'm trembling right now just thinking about it.

You see, I've been a nervous wreck for a few weeks now.

It all started on the fifth day of November. And no, this has nothing to do with the "Remember, Remember the Fifth of November" thing. This is me venting and replaying a series of events that have now succeeded in controlling my life.

On the fifth day of November, I was leaving my house at about 9am to go to school (since I commute, and all). Well, I got in my car and was just about to start the ignition when I saw a note on the outside of the windshield.

Logically, I thought it might have been a parking ticket. But, still thinking logically, I remembered that I was in my driveway, and the ticket hadn't been there the day before. So, I got out of the car and grabbed the note.

It was folded up, so I unfolded it. I'm actually looking at it right now, in order to write down what it says.

_~Christine~_

_Hello. At last, I can reveal myself. For now, though, it can only be through letters like this. You are probably very confused. Do not be. In time, you will know everything. For now, I just want to let you know that I am watching you. Perhaps you are a bit nervous by now? Please, do not be. You are lucky! I am watching over you. No harm will come to you as long as I am near. You will find that I send these letters frequently, for you will receive many. Read them carefully._

_Until the next,_

_All my love_

_Ps: Do not tell anyone about this. Anyone you tell will die. You have been warned._

Yeah, so that was the first note. By the time I'd finished reading it, my hands were shaking. I remember looking around me like a crazy person for a few seconds. But then, thinking logically again, I got to thinking that it was probably a joke. Probably some stupid joke sent by my friends, Richard or Stephanie, or… but they live on campus. I live with my parents, and my parents would never do something like this. Neither would anyone else I know. Plus, I didn't recognize the handwriting at all.

So, to say the least, I was and still am pretty freaked out. By that time, it was pretty late and I knew I'd be late to Biology. So, I didn't go. I didn't go to any classes that day. In fact, I locked myself in a bathroom. That day was, pretty much, a mess. I was forced to leave the house near the time my parents would be home so that they wouldn't think I had skipped classes. I drove to a gas station parking lot and sat there with the car doors locked until 8pm. I was forced to call Stephanie and Richard to tell them that my reason for not being on campus was because I didn't feel well enough to go to classes. I was forced to tell them not to tell my parents. The whole day was freaking forced. And, I didn't get any sleep.

The next morning, Tuesday, November 6th, I didn't have classes. I only got up once to lock my bedroom door. Then, I stayed in bed all day. I didn't get on the computer once, which was a big deal. I didn't even eat or drink anything. I kept my cell phone with me, though. No way was I going anywhere without it.

That night, my mom got suspicious. I was scared to death. I've never been good at lying to her face. I usually tell her everything. She asked me what was wrong, because I guess I looked pretty shaky. I told her it was school. School stress. Yep, that was my big excuse. But hey, it must have worked well. She bought it. Oh, and I didn't get any sleep that night, either.

November 7th, Wednesday, I gained enough courage to open the garage door, but only just enough to see if there was anything on my car windshield. There was. I tiptoed just outside the garage, grabbed the piece of paper off the windshield, ran back inside the garage, shut the garage door, and locked myself inside the house. God, I was scared.

_~Christine~_

_I know you have been frightened. I am sorry to have caused you so much grief. Know that there is no reason to be afraid. I want you to attend classes and live life as you normally would. I only thought it was right to let you know of my presence. I do not ever want to keep secrets from you, just as I never want you to keep secrets from me. I will not harm you. As long as you keep my letters secret, I will not harm anyone. You have been such a good girl, so far. Live life like you always have. Really, you have nothing to worry about._

_All my love_

'Love'. I'd barely paid attention to the word from the first note, but it was on this note, too. Alright, so my worries had just increased dramatically. 'Love'? My face paled considerably, and it's only gotten paler since. What did he mean by that? It's obvious now but, since it was new, it wasn't obvious back then. He loves me. This man who is old enough to be my father loves me. _Me_. Why? WHY?

Well, anyway, he wanted me to attend classes. He wanted me to drive to school. I wondered what would happen if I did. I wondered what would happen if I didn't. I wondered if I'd fall asleep at the wheel from lack of sleep. I wondered if he would follow me. I wondered who on earth this guy was and where he was hiding. I didn't really want answers, though. I didn't know if I could handle the answers.

I still had time to get dressed and go, so that's what I did. I'll never forget how hard it was to drive. I didn't fall asleep, I didn't even think about sleep! But, I couldn't stop shaking. I listened to a Christmas music radio station and tried to focus on the road instead of the two notes. It was impossible. Somehow, though, I made it to the parking garage and was able to walk to my first class.

That morning, I realized, surprisingly, that I actually felt safer on campus. I felt safer in public with thousands of people all over the place. I couldn't concentrate in my classes, but there were moments when I could actually breathe normally.

After Biology, I had a four hour break and walked across campus to Stephanie's (my best friend) dorm room. Walking across campus took 15 minutes, and I wondered if he was watching me. It seemed possible, but I still questioned.

Right when she saw me, Stephanie asked if I was ok. I was so tempted to tell her. I mean, I tell her most everything. But, I lied and said I still didn't feel that great (which was actually true), and that I was nervous about school and how the semester was coming to a close. It worked, she bought it.

Only minutes later, I decided that I needed to leave. I needed to go to the library.. or somewhere. I didn't want to endanger Stephanie. I didn't want to endanger _anybody_. So, I told her I had some work to do and then headed towards the library.

The rest of my classes dragged on slowly. I couldn't concentrate in any of them. My third class was one I had with my other best friend, Richard. I was so tempted to tell him, but I didn't. I couldn't. He knew something was wrong. I know he knew something was wrong. But, thank God, he didn't pressure me.

Classes ended at 7:45pm, and I practically ran to my car. Walking _alone _at _night_ almost killed me, I swear it did.

And, what do you know? There was a note on the windshield. It confirmed my question of if he was watching me. Of course he was. I reached for the note shakily and made sure I was locked in my car before reading it.

_My, my, these letters are having quite an effect on you. You are so pale! Darling, please believe me when I say you have nothing to be scared of. Perhaps, you have been wondering if I am able to watch you on campus? Yes, I am able to. I know your schedule, after all. Of course, I am not able to attend your classes or go to Stephanie's dorm room, but I watch you at all other times. You normally do not spend as much time at the library as you have today. Whatever it takes to keep you from telling others, though, pleases me. It makes me happy. You make me happy. I am so proud of you. Do not fear me. I want only the best for you._

_All my love_

I was so freaked out and so sleepy that I almost had a wreck driving home that night. Luckily, some car honked at me, which made me stay alert for the rest of the drive.

My parents bugged me about their suspicions again when I got home. I blamed it on school and being tired. They looked concerned and told me to sleep. I tried to, but I just couldn't.

The next morning, Thursday, I didn't have classes. So, I copied Tuesday's routine and saw, of course, that there was a note on the windshield.

This note had only four words on it.

_You must get sleep._

I gulped and locked myself in my bedroom, my cell phone close at hand.

Then, I got to thinking. I can't remember _ever_ thinking as hard as I did that day.

The guy was obviously hand-writing these notes. I wondered if that was good evidence if I were to get the police involved. But, he said he'd kill anyone I told. There's no way I could tell them without the guy knowing. I mean, even if it were possible, I couldn't know for sure… I couldn't risk that. If I told the police and the guy found out, no telling who would die. Maybe he wouldn't kill the police, since they have weapons and everything, but what about my parents? My friends? I couldn't protect everybody. I would never be so selfish as to endanger others to ensure my own safety.

So, I threw those thoughts out.

I was sitting on my bed with the lights on and my cell phone in my hand when it hit me.

(Thinking about it now, I realize how stupid and slow I really am.)

But, it hit me. He'd been able to contact me through notes. Why couldn't I do the same? Maybe, it would help. Maybe, if he knew what I was really thinking, he'd leave me alone! Well, it couldn't hurt… could it?

So, I found a pen and paper and began writing. Here was the product…

_I have been getting your notes, and I just want to know why you are sending them. I am very confused. You are right, I am scared. Please, just tell me why you are doing this._

I folded it up and tiptoed downstairs to the laundry room.

(I still can't help but think that, if someone were to view what has been happening, they would find it humorous that my car has become a mailbox.)

Anyway, I inwardly said a prayer before unlocking the door and stepping into the garage. My cats were sleeping on their little bed. I then opened the garage door, ran to my car, put my note on the windshield under the windshield wiper, ran back in the garage, closed the garage door, and locked myself inside the house. Then, I ran to the bathroom and locked myself inside. I remember how out of breath I was while sinking to the floor. I was sobbing.

I wondered then, and I wonder now, why has this happened?

**When does Erik come in? Please review if you want me to continue with the answer to that question.**

**Thanks,**

**Daydream**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews. They really mean a lot to me. Sorry for the typo before. At one time, I had planned on writing this story with different characters. That didn't work out, though. Well, here's more… **

**Entry 2**

Once I completed the task of putting my note on the windshield, I realized that I overexerted myself. So, I took a nap. I actually took a nap on the bathroom floor! Whereas the very few times I'd gotten any amount of sleep over the past few days had only been for under an hour, I actually got an hour and a half's worth that time. I put an alarm on for two hours, but the fact that I actually almost completed it was surprising. I also felt a little more alert.

I had no idea if he'd actually gotten my note yet, and I needed to know for sure.

I did the whole garage door routine and saw a note on my car. The only way I knew it was from him was the fact that it was placed differently than the one I'd left for him. I grabbed it and ran back inside after taking all of the precautions I normally did.

Yes, it most definitely was from him.

_~Christine~_

_Hello, honey. I am glad we can now communicate like this. I was wondering when you would think of it. I must say, it really is quite funny to see you when you are getting a letter off of your car. The whole process is comical. You ask why I am sending these letters? Well, I told you in the other letters. I felt it was best for you to know I am here. Would you have wanted me to watch you without your knowledge? I do not think that would be fair. At the current time, I cannot tell you why I am watching you, although I am sure you have some fairly accurate guesses. You will know, though. In time, you will know everything._

_All my love_

That was it. I'd had enough, I was angry. I really was _almost_ on the verge of finding him on my own. I mean, he had to be nearby. I mean, duh. But, I restrained myself. It was obvious that this man was dangerous.

(Back then, I only assumed it to be a man. Now though, I know for sure.)

I knew that he could watch me, but I also knew that he could kidnap me. He could take me away. I'd probably die of a heart attack if that happened. I think, actually, I'd kill myself before I let it happen. I think it'd be worth it. My God, I cannot believe I'm writing this. Ok, now I'm writing present and past feelings combined…

Alright, well, anyway, back to Thursday, November 8th…

Then, after anger had subsided, I panicked. What was I going to do? Oh, God, oh, God.. I remember thinking that over and over again. I wondered if I should write him another note? But then, if I wrote back, I wondered if he'd start thinking that I wanted him to kidnap me or something.. But, I also wondered what would happen if I didn't write back. Would he get mad and… and what? I'd come to the conclusion that he most definitely was a psycho. He had already threatened to kill other people, so what if he would change his mind and kill me?

Thinking back on all of the thoughts that were going through my mind then, I realize that I really am pretty stupid. I mean, sure it was new, this whole stalker thing. But, come on! If he really was watching constantly, then I needed to grow up and face it.

ANYWAY, I was thinking so many bad thoughts. Who would he kill first? My cats? God, I hadn't even thought about that. Screw endangering myself, I ran downstairs and let both of them in the laundry room. That was a slight relief. Although I knew it was stupid (and also untrue), I thought we were all safe if we were locked indoors. Indoors anywhere, not just at home. Just, as long as we weren't outside. Except on campus. On campus, I'm surrounded by people. Basically, I thought that he couldn't get me or anyone else as long as we were locked indoors or surrounded by people.

I still hold on to a tiny bit of that hope, but it's dwindling fast. That's actually why I'm writing this down. If he gets me, maybe someone will find this. I pray to God someone will.

I've got to keep writing what has happened! Too many of my current thoughts are entering the picture.

The next day, a Friday, I'd actually gotten three and a half good hours of sleep and was ready to drive to campus. The note on my car was different than the others had been…

_~Christine~_

_How are you? I trust you slept a few good hours? When you write back, I want you to answer some questions I have, some questions I do not know the answers to. What time were you born? Is your hair naturally that color? When, in high school, did you decide that you wanted to major in music? Let me say again how thrilling it is to know that we can communicate now. Answer me soon._

_All my love_

_Ps: Go to classes_

Those were the oddest questions ever. I knew for sure he was psycho. I didn't _want_ to communicate with him. God, I didn't want any of this! Damn it, I was just trying to get through my first semester at a new school! I was so mad that I almost forgot where I was. I had to drive to campus. He told me I had to, and I knew better than to disobey him. It wasn't wise. _I_ wasn't wise. So, well, I did as he said and drove.

_Where is he? Who is he? _Those were my main questions back then. Those thoughts and '_why?_'were the main reasons I could not focus in classes. I was going to fail, I knew it. Damn, all of my hard work for nothing. It was so sad.

Maybe that was what he wanted. He wanted to weaken me to the point of failing and being kicked out of college. Then, it looked like he would succeed. I couldn't let him! I needed to be strong to get through this!

But, any way I looked at the situation, I knew I was causing more trouble for myself and others. I had to keep the people around me safe. I couldn't focus on myself. But… I didn't want to worry them. And, I didn't want to leave, as I knew I should have. It was the safest way to keep them from danger, after all. I was so weak and scared.

I longed for comfort. I didn't want to be in this mess any longer. There was no way out, though. The bastard had me wrapped around his finger. I was his toy.. or something. I hated him, and I didn't even know him.

After not paying attention but getting through my classes, I headed towards my car like a scared puppy. I grabbed the note I knew would be on the windshield and locked myself in the car to read it.

_Hello, sweet heart. I suppose the library has become your friend. I wish I could become your friend, as well. I long for your happiness. What is so scary about that? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Yet, you are terrified. It really is getting old. You should be getting used to this. You must answer my questions soon. Perhaps, you should leave a note on your windshield tonight. Yes, I believe you should._

_All my love_

All his love… It made me sick. And, he was demanding that I write him a stupid note! I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and proceeded to drive home. I had to be careful. I couldn't slip up. If my behavior was getting 'old' to him, then I needed to change my attitude. It was going to take work, but I couldn't continue to let him think I was weak.

There had to be a way to get through this, to get _out_ of this. I remember still having some hope back then. It's almost gone now, though.. I'll explain soon enough. But, that night, all he wanted was the note. So, I stopped on the side of the road close to home and turned on the interior light to compose a note. Here was the product…

_I was born at 3:30 in the afternoon. I dyed my hair a few times last year, but it's all grown out. This is my natural hair color. I decided I wanted to major in music when I was a sophomore in high school, but I'm majoring in psychology now. _

I didn't want to put anything else in the note, so I didn't. That night, my parents were suspicious again. School was my only excuse, but it was getting less and less believable to them. Not knowing what else to do, I ignored their worries and 'slept'. Sleep never came easy then. Sleep never comes easy anymore.

The next morning, his note went like this…

_~Christine~_

_Thank you for answering my questions. None of your answers surprised me, for they are what I hoped they would be. You please me. However, I do wish that you had written more. You must in your next note. Christine, I am noticing that I am not getting through to you. Perhaps you would commit to being my friend if I were to explain myself better? Well, I can do that to a certain extent. Christine, you intrigue me. I am fascinated by every part of you. You have become my life. I know you are scared. You have not received this kind of attention before. Few have. My presence confuses you. You will understand, though. In time, I will make sure of it._

_All my love, always _

This note had more of an effect than any of the previous ones had. I felt trapped. His notes were suffocating. I hated how I felt. Obviously, he wanted to make me feel flattered and lucky. Well, I didn't feel either. I felt violated, like I was naked and on display.

What did he want from me? Another note? But, what would I write? He wanted it to be longer than the last note I'd sent him. Well, screw that. My next note went like this...

_What do you want me to write? _

And, that was it… Well, not quite. Right after I put the note on the windshield, an idea formed. I was an idiot. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before! If I watched the car from a distance without him knowing, then I was bound to see him, right? So, I went back inside. Now, there were flaws. The number one problem was that I couldn't see my car from inside the house. There wasn't a window within view. I would just have to think of a way, though…

The next day was a Sunday, and there wasn't any real reason to venture outside.. except to see if there was a letter, of course. But that day, I didn't care and I wasn't going to go out of my way to fulfill his wishes. The day was dull, and I tried to catch up on homework. I was so behind in classes, and it was all _his _fault. My parents were still concerned, but I was getting better and better at acting like there was nothing wrong.

It was the following day, a Monday, that things began to change. When I hesitantly walked towards my car, I saw that there were two letters. As always, I looked around me suspiciously before grabbing them and launching into the car, locking the doors quickly.

_Christine,_

_I have now sent you nine letters, including this one. How I do wish we could communicate without such space between us. Alas, it must continue as such. You ask a valid question: What are you to say in your letters to me? I must say, just the thought of you writing to me causes my heart to pound. Just the thought of your correspondence enslaves my soul. I wish for you to 'small talk' with me. Explain your day, tell me your troubles, and shares your thoughts with me._

_All my love_

My eyes scanned the letter before looking out the car window fearfully. Time couldn't be wasted, though. There was another letter to read.

_Christine, my only love,_

_You did not come for my letter yesterday. It is upsetting, yes, but I will forgive you this time. Please, do not let it happen again. You must view my letters daily._

_All my love_

He was now threatening me. Just great.. I should have known, though… For him to really care for me, he would be willing to let me go. But, being that he wanted to continue to write me even when I was terrified really showed his true colors. He was a crazy stalker who wanted things done his way. When things weren't done his way… Well, we're getting to that.

I decided that I would write him a letter in Biology. I was going to fail the class anyway, so who cared? Brushing away a few tears, I drove to school.

All that time, through the fear and the tears, I really just wanted someone to save me.

* * *

**The story is going to pick up very soon.**


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